Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
