i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
