Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
