is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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