We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
