Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
