If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
