Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
