love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
