he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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