Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize