Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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