i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
