Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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