How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
