before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
