it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
