I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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