Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he was CRYING into my vagina
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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