Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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