you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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