white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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