God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
