And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize