No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
