im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
