Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
