Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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