so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
