The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We need to get me chipped asap
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
