just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize