I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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