The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
