she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
