Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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