don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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