I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
