So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
