She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
