I wannas sexs uuuuu
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
