we made out on top of his cat.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
