it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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