we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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