was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
