It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
