So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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