Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
