I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
