Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
