i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
