Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize