About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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