She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
