Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize