i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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