O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize