Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
