bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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