I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
