she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize