what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
