YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
