Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Fuck appropriateness.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
