You work out of a Hotel?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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