Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She tied me up with her honor cords...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
